Patience

I was raised in a religious family. So, often, the situations God places us in for our own good, the good of others, or to teach us something was (and is) a subject brought up in conversation.

I had my mother bring this up to me the other day in a conversation I was having with her. My current job is one that I do not have a lot to do, and do not have a lot of freedom to do things on my own. So I mentioned to her that I’m in another lull where I have finished what’s been given to me, and that I was not given anything that day to work on. Not only that, I wasn’t even spoken to by a single person while at work that day. Her response is that maybe “God was giving me an opportunity to learn patience”.

I had to bite my tongue.

Yes, I know my reactions come across as lack of patience to a neuro-typical. I wanted to tell her that I already understand and practice patience. I handle myself appropriately and behave well whenever I feel I would have full right to act out. There is nothing wrong with having expectations of someone and/or something that aren’t being met and it has nothing to do with whether I am being patient or not.

But, no. I exercised patience with my mother and bit my tongue…the same way I have for most of my years being alive.

(Why didn’t I try to explain? My mother reacts to my neuro-diversity like I am making excuses, just like most NT’s in my life does. It would have been an exercise in futility to try and explain.)


Also published on Medium.

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